


Vampires, Zombies, oh my

by Plumetta



Category: Zombieland (2009)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 07:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1597382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plumetta/pseuds/Plumetta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The gang finds a video store that still has electricity.  They each pick a movie but Twilight starts a fight between Tallahassee and Little Rock</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vampires, Zombies, oh my

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any characters no copyright infringement is intended.

They hit a town that still had electricity. They went into a video store and sat down and watched movies. The one they were watching now was Twilight.

“This is the stupidest movie on the face of the earth.” Tallahassee said.

Little Rock glared at him. “You just made us watch Kingpin. I wouldn’t talk if I were you.

“Young lady that is an under-rated gem with Bill Murray and Woody Harrelson.

“Who?

“Woody Harrelson. The guy from Cheers.”

“Cheers??” Little Rock asked.

Wichita laughed. “Think TvLand.

“Oh….old shows.

“Cheers is not that old.

“It’s pretty old.” Columbus said. “I think it went off the air when I was like three.”

Tallahassee stood up. “I sat through Mona Lisa Smile and The Lord of the Rings. I am on the hunt for a twinkie. I’ll be back before dark.

Little Rock leaped up. “No fair. I watched your movie.

“Kid, the vampire doesn’t kill anyone and he sparkles. It stretches reality too much.

“Says the zombie killer.” Wichita snapped. “Sit down and watch the movie.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Tallahassee yelled.

Little Rock folded her arms. “Come on. If you stay I’ll watch two of your stupid movies.

“Scrooged and Groundhog Day.

‘Fine.”

He sat next to Little Rock and continued to ridicule the movie. After it ended Wichita and Columbus went off in search of some food. They came back an hour later and heard the two of them fighting.

“You can’t do that! Little Rock yelled.

‘Yes, I can and that’s final.

If we run into a seventeen year old vampire I am soooooooo dating him.

“You are too young to date. That’s final.

“You’re not the boss of me!

“I’m one of the them. Tallahassee yelled. You are not dating Edward Cullen

“You are so mean!!! You have to let me date someone who can’t be zombiefied.

“Not at twelve and not if he’s a vampire…..ever.

“You can’t stop me. A vampire is stronger than humans.

“Yeah, well I’ll ground you until I catch him with a flame thrower.

“I HATE YOU!!! Little Rock screamed.

“What else is new?

Columbus and Wichita exchanged looks. Little Rock stormed out of the store and her sister followed. Columbus went over to Tallahassee.

“Ummmm are the two of you really fighting about her dating a vampire?

Tallahassee shrugged.

“Isn’t that a little ridiculous?

“What’s ridiculous is that she thinks I’d let her date a vampire or a werewolf.

“You do know that vampires and werewolves aren’t real? Columbus asked.

“Really??? If you were to ask me two years ago about zombies I would have said they weren’t real either.

“Point taken. But I don’t think we’re going to run into any vampires. They would need human blood to survive and with the whole world turned into zombies they probably starved to death.

Tallahassee nodded. “That makes sense.

“You know you really can’t make rules about who she dates.

“Yes, I can.”

“You’re not her father.

“Don’t say that. I’m the closest thing she has and she’s the closest thing I have to Buck.

Columbus nodded. “Okay, but if we run into a cute seventeen year old vampire, she’ll appeal to her sister.

“She’s twelve. Even Wichita has to agree that’s too young.

‘I have a feeling when she’s seventeen you’ll still think she’s too young.

Tallahassee shook his head and said seriously. “No. There’s nothing I’d like more than for her to go to the prom with a guy I hate. I wish all she had to worry about was school, who would take her to the prom and being grounded when she stayed out past curfew. It beats the hell out of zombies, starving and where are you going to sleep tonight.

Columbus agreed. “But why do you fight with her over stupid things?

“Because…she’s a kid. She needs to blow off steam and dream about a future. If I don’t start a fight with her…..she’ll remember too soon what the world is really like. Right now she’s so pissed off at me she’s dreaming about her…..dream boyfriend.

Wichita walked several blocks with her sister before she said. “Okay…..why are you fighting over Twilight?

“It’s not Twilight. I said maybe we should go to Washington state so I could meet a cute vampire like Edward. Little Rock said. “He got all nuts like he can make rules.

“Well you know he can’t. Wichita said. “So why the fight?

Little Rock shrugged. “He can. He’s already made a lot of rules regarding me.

“What are you talking about?

“I’m not allowed to hunt or gather food on my own. If I go to bed too late and only get a couple of hours of sleep he won’t do guard duty with me. Last month he grounded me for a week because I went to the second floor of that shopping mall without cover.

‘He did not “ground” you. Wichita said.

“Yes he did. He didn’t let me go anywhere with him. He wouldn’t let me drive or pick the music.

“What are you talking about? You said you didn’t want to drive.. You didn’t tell me he “grounded” you.

I asked him not to tell Columbus I was being punished because I didn’t want the lecture on the rules. He agreed as long as I didn’t take advantage to get out of my punishment.

“Honey, he’s not your father. You don’t have to…..

“I know I don’t have to…. Little Rock said “But…it was a pretty dumb thing to do. I mean he does care about me…….us.

“That’s true but he can’t make rules about you dating vampires. That’s going too far.

“Right??? That would be like him not letting me date a boy because he was a different religion or…..Asian.

“That’s right so if you want to date the Korean Buddist Vampire I’ve got your back. Wichita said.

“Good to know.”

“After you’re fifteen. Wichita said. “There is no way I’m letting you date a vampire until you’re at least fifteen.

Little Rock rolled her eyes. ‘Well, he said sixteen so I’m already doing better.


End file.
